Birthday Fail

See that? That mess right there is the result of about 700 hours of work on my part. (Facts may be slightly exaggerated for effect).

So the idea was to make an almost paleo (or primal actually) type of dessert for my son's 7th birthday. I meant to make enough for him to have a party at school and also for a party we had later with friends. I decided to make little individual cupcakes instead of one pie, because it would be a lot more work and I'm an idiot. I estimated that I would need approximately 1 metric ass ton of cupcake thingies (or maybe it was 21, a lot either way) but I was determined to provide something fabulous for these parties.

It was particularly important for the school party because I had been bitching (politely of course) all year about the obscene amounts of sugary carbs served to the kids in wee-beastie's class. Honestly, they are served things like marshmallows, cheese puffs and brownies everyday. They get cupcakes once a week already, it wouldn't even be special to get cupcakes for a birthday party so what's the damn point?

So I altered a recipe I liked the sound of - Strawberry Bavarian Pie - which was made with strawberries, whipped cream, gelatin and sugar. I decreased the amount of sugar (it called for 1 cup, I used 1/2) and increased the amount of gelatin slightly (and used unflavored because it's paleo) and viola, a half-assed paleo recipe. The recipe already included a totally primal crust of coconut and butter.

I thought it was genius.

I may have been wrong.

The crusts turned out fine.

Just fill them with the strawberry mixture, chill for a few hours and top with homemade whipped cream. Yum.

The problem is that the damn things DO NOT come out of the pan. Instead of giving up like a normal person when the first batch exploded into flames when I tried to pry them out, I tried again. I buttered the hell out of the pan, then added the butter laden coconut (starting to question the healthiness of this now) and baked them again, and again they did not come out in one piece.

I think if I had one of those fancy silicone cupcake pan things, maybe it would've worked out. I did try one other thing, I made a pie in a spring-form pan (no pics, sorry) and it worked out OK. I took it to the party and made our friends eat it because after all that work, somebody was eating it damn it!

I bought cupcakes from a store for the school party. I've never been so ashamed.

Round 1 of the paleo birthday celebrations have defeated me, but the next birthday (mine) is in August so I have 2 months to come up with something better. Stay tuned.